buzzing brain

Is it so hard for me to just be really good at one thing? I want to be amazing at something but I am starting to feel mediocre at everything I do. I want to be an authentic artist. I want to be a real rock star. I want to be a willowy writer. I want to be a smooth singer. I want to be a fought after friend. I am none of these however. I am just a girl who draws or paints every now and then. I am just a wannabe rock star. I am just a blah writer. I am just an off pitch singer. I am just a horrible friend. What will I ever become? I wonder this most of my days. But I never really do anything about it. I just wonder and wander and wonder and wander in my blank, buzzing brain.

Lola and I started a book together. A book of kittens, struggles, obsessions, secrets, dreams, memories, art, people, life, the journey and everything we learn therein. This book has taken over our room. But any second something comes to mind we go straight to the book and put it down. Each page is covered in color, magazine clippings, writing, paint, mod podge and our souls combined. Her and I collaborate so well artistically. Our creative process is the same. We never disagree. We think alike and it just goes so swell. I love living with an artistic person. It’s nice to talk and see things artistically and be able to actually talk about it with someone.

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